In recent years, the Enneagram has skyrocketed in popularity, showing up in quizzes, podcasts, books, and even casual cocktail conversations. At first glance, the Enneagram seems simple: nine types arranged around a circle. With a bit of knowledge, it’s tempting to type yourself—and everyone you know. But here’s where things get tricky: a surface-level understanding can lead to stereotyping, excusing unhealthy behaviors, and even manipulating others. While I’ve explored the Enneagram in the context of addiction, I’d like to take a closer look at its role in everyday life.
First and foremost, quizzes don’t work. Most quizzes focus on behaviors, but the Enneagram is all about motivations. Two people can display the same behavior for entirely different reasons. For example, a Nine avoids conflict to maintain inner and outer peace at all costs, while a Five avoids conflict to conserve energy and maintain their autonomy. Same action, but completely different underlying drives. Understanding these distinctions is crucial for using the Enneagram as a tool for self-awareness and growth.
Why is the enneagram so important?
I absolutely love Enneagram work. Over the past six years, I’ve spent countless hours studying and participating in workshops, and it has been transformative in my life. God has used the Enneagram to help me understand myself and others more holistically, providing a language for behaviors and motivations. But while the Enneagram offers valuable insights, it does not give us excuses. Knowing your type—“I’m a 1”—is not a free pass for bad behavior. Instead, the Enneagram equips us with tools to grow into our best selves, breaking down struggles into manageable pieces and offering solutions tailored to our personality type.
Beyond self-awareness, the Enneagram enhances how we interact with others. It challenges the simplicity of the Golden Rule, teaching us not just to treat others as we want to be treated, but as they want to be treated. For one person, bringing solutions feels empowering, while for another, it may feel overwhelming or invalidating. Some thrive on directness, while others need a more gentle, nuanced approach. The Enneagram teaches us to care for ourselves and others in ways that truly resonate, fostering deeper connections and more effective communication.
What are the nuts and bolts of each number?
Ones are dependable, self-disciplined, and like routine. They can be hard on the people around them, but never as hard as they are on themselves. Ones also struggle with anger, often mistaking it for resentment, and find it difficult to let go of. However, their attention to detail, integrity, and commitment to excellence ensure they bring their best effort to everything they do, but often feel like they’re trying harder than everybody else. Despite their inner struggles, Ones' dedication and passion make them invaluable in their relationships and endeavors. They want to leave the world better than when they found it. They see every situation through what it could be, and unfortunately it can lead them to being critical. Ones think dualistically—things are right or wrong, black or white. There is one right way to do something (like load the dishwasher) and all other choices come in second, if they make the list at all. They bring their best to the table every day. No detail is too small when doing a job well.
Type Twos, often called "The Helpers," are deeply compassionate and relationship-oriented individuals who find comfort in giving rather than receiving. They have an intuitive ability to anticipate others' needs and remember the meaningful details and stories that make up people’s lives. Twos are drawn to influential or powerful people and care deeply about how others perceive them. Their desire to help can lead to struggles with boundaries, as they rarely say no and often take on more than they can handle. When overwhelmed, Twos may feel unappreciated or taken for granted. While they find it hard to be cared for, they cherish thoughtful, unexpected gestures of kindness. When asked what they need, Twos often don’t know how to respond, as their focus is so outwardly directed. Twos have a deep aversion to seeing others in pain and will often step in to help, even when it’s not their responsibility. Their lives are built on relationships, extending their warmth and connection to everyone they encounter, from close friends to the mailman. This drive to connect makes Twos invaluable in fostering community and support, though they benefit from learning to care for themselves as much as they do for others.
Type Threes, known as "The Achievers," are adaptable, driven, and goal-oriented individuals who excel in a variety of settings. They have an innate ability to shapeshift, becoming whatever a situation demands, and are highly motivated to get things done. However, this drive can sometimes lead them to cut corners, prioritizing the end result over the process. Threes are independent and fast-paced, constantly moving toward the next project or goal. While this momentum fuels their success, it often causes them to miss life’s precious moments—they’re the ones who leave the party before the confetti falls, already focused on what’s next. Threes are natural leaders, with a talent for recognizing and leveraging the strengths of those around them. Collaborative and high achieving, they inspire others to succeed, especially when your success aligns with theirs. Their energy, ambition, and ability to bring people together make them powerful forces for progress, though they benefit from slowing down to savor the journey.
Type Fours, often called "The Individualists," are deeply in tune with their emotions and embrace the full spectrum of feelings, both good and bad. Fours, trade in intensity—they seek deep, raw conversations to test if others can truly understand them, which is their greatest desire. As the most complex Enneagram type, Fours often feel like they don’t quite fit in, leading to a longing to be ordinary while simultaneously fearing it would strip away their uniqueness. They struggle with envy, not as jealousy (wanting what others have) but as a belief that they don’t deserve what others have, stemming from a sense of being fundamentally flawed. Despite their inner struggles, Fours possess a remarkable gift for sitting with others in pain. They offer quiet, nonjudgmental presence, understanding that not every problem needs fixing. Their capacity for empathy and authenticity makes them a comforting and meaningful presence in times of emotional need.
Type Fives, known as "The Investigators," are deeply curious and thrive on knowledge, wanting to understand everything about everything. They often bring fascinating facts into conversations—but only if they like and trust you. Fives are extremely slow processors. If Christmas is on a Tuesday, they are excited about it the following Friday. They excel at planning but can confuse planning with doing, intricately mapping out ideas only to miss the chance to act on them. Fives operate with a limited daily reserve of energy, which is depleted by interactions, physical touch, emails, and phone calls. Because of this, they avoid conflict, as it demands more energy than they’re willing to expend. Fives are uniquely objective, able to see both sides of an argument without feeling compelled to take a stance. Their love is a profound gift, as engaging emotionally or physically often requires a significant energy sacrifice. When a Five chooses to connect with you, it’s a deliberate and meaningful act of care, making their relationships deeply valued and cherished.
Type Sixes, often called "The Loyalists," are fiercely loyal, sometimes to a fault, staying in relationships or situations longer than is healthy. They view life through the lens of danger on the horizon, so they plan for worst-case scenarios. While this preparedness can be useful, it often leads to wasted energy and causes them to miss what’s going well in life. Sixes place great trust in authority figures, as they struggle to trust their own instincts. Leadership provides them with comfort and a sense of security, as they believe those in charge have the answers they lack. They live on a spectrum of phobic and counterphobic behaviors. Some fears leave them paralyzed, while others push them to run headfirst into challenges, giving the appearance of bravery that can confuse those around them. Sixes care deeply about the well-being of the group and are cautious in committing to something new. However, once they’ve bought in, they’re all in, offering steadfast dedication and support. Their loyalty and group-focused mindset make them reliable allies and advocates.
Type Sevens, known as "The Enthusiasts," are the life of the party, bringing energy and fun wherever they go. They have a natural ability to reframe situations with lightning speed, ensuring no one dwells on negativity. Clever, charming, and disarming, Sevens light up a room and keep the fun meter high. They prefer to go wide rather than deep in life and relationships, enjoying a little bit of everything to keep their options open. Endings, commitments, and expectations can make them uncomfortable, often leading them to leave projects unfinished or withdraw. Sevens are internally motivated and value their independence, standing apart from other Enneagram types as they navigate life on their own terms. While Sevens are adventurous and thrive on excitement, their charm and positivity can sometimes prevent them from growing. Others lean on them to lighten the mood, which may leave them unable to sit with negative feelings or process challenges deeply. Despite this, Sevens find immense joy in creating joy for others, making their presence a gift to those around them.
Type Eights, often called "The Challengers," are bold, intense, and unapologetically direct. They approach everything with gusto, and if life lacks intensity, they create it. What others perceive as conflict feels like a normal conversation to Eights—they thrive on opposition and see it as an opportunity for growth or clarity. Justice is their driving force, and they will passionately fight for others, especially those willing to stand up for themselves. However, Eights are skeptical of people who seem “too nice” and instinctively size up everyone they meet—often with remarkable accuracy. Beneath their tough exterior, Eights deeply long to be loved and accepted. Yet, trust is sacred to them, and they allow only a select few into their inner circle. When they do, their loyalty and fierce protection are unmatched, making them powerful advocates and cherished allies.
Type Nines, known as "The Peacemakers," will go to great lengths to avoid conflict, valuing inner and outer harmony above all else. They often procrastinate, preferring to "go along to get along," and can struggle with self-starting unless supported by a strong second in command. While they may seem agreeable, their quiet stubbornness reveals that they don’t always share others' opinions. Nines find comfort in routines and can feel unsettled when their rhythm is disrupted. Although they may be slow to start tasks, once they do, they perform them diligently and well. Their tendency to tune out during conversations can cause misunderstandings, but their calm demeanor makes them a stabilizing presence during chaos. Nines often wrestle with feeling like their presence doesn’t matter, yet their belief that "everything will be alright" brings reassurance to those around them. They are the calm in the storm, embodying a steady, grounding force to maintain peace in both their own lives and the lives of others.
What can you do with this information?
These Enneagram descriptions barely scratch the surface of this rich and transformative tool. For those starting out, I highly recommend The Road Back to You by Suzanne Stabile. Though written from a Christian perspective, keep an open mind. Too often, we settle for average behavior—simply doing the next thing—when we could be living dynamically. The Enneagram provides a framework for self-awareness, helping us recognize patterns and motivations that hold us back or propel us forward. We all want to feel like we matter and that what we do matters. While that sense of purpose may come more naturally to some numbers than others, it’s achievable for everyone. Living dynamically means moving through life with courage, embracing growth, and caring deeply for ourselves and those around us.
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