I began hearing about “trauma therapists” when I was still green in the field. I thought to myself, “Isn’t every therapist a ‘trauma therapist?” By the very nature of what we do, we all work with trauma. Well, after almost seven years of doing this, I have realized, no, in fact, not every therapist is trauma-informed, and my goodness, can they do a lot of damage.
What is trauma? Trauma is a completely subjective process. Just as each one of us has different gifts we bring to the table, each one of us is affected by life differently. We can all agree there are some “Big T” traumas: death, divorce, assault, abuse, war, bullying, and racism, to name a few. But there are “little t” traumas that we experience every day: learning differences in the classroom, continuous negative or critical interactions at home or work, negative self-talk, and for some, being medication dependent. Often, the “little t” traumas are overlooked and dismissed as “not as bad as some people have it.” While that may be true, we cannot help what affects us. We can do the work and choose to not let it control our lives; but as humans, different things speak to us in different ways.
What is trauma informed therapy? Trauma-informed care acknowledges the need to understand a client’s life experiences, to deliver effective care, and has the potential to improve client engagement, treatment adherence, health outcomes, and provider and staff wellness (University of Buffalo). Trauma-informed care is not clinical. It is not sterile. It requires a great deal of empathy and compassion on the part of the therapist to meet each client where he is on his journey toward wholeness. It requires seeing the bigger picture of one’s life.
The five tenets of trauma-informed therapy are safety (physical and emotional), trustworthiness, choice, collaboration, and empowerment (Trauma-Informed Care Implementation Resource Center). None those things can be achieved with clients unless we, as therapists, see them nonjudgmentally. We must approach each client with curiosity and the knowledge that the client is the expert on himself. A good therapist brings tools to the table but allows the client to steer the ship.
In my practice, I view everything through a trauma-informed, family systems lens. The family system is not only the people in our family, but the dynamics between everyone. I tell my clients, “We can do the work of you getting healthy, but if we don’t figure out how to operate within the dysfunctional system, our work is not complete.” People have different thoughts on how to interact in a dysfunctional family system. One school of thought is to alleviate the system all together and cut off contact. There are exceptions to every rule, but in my experience, completely severing ties with family should be the last option. No matter how functional or dysfunctional our families are, they teach us a lot about ourselves—how to have boundaries, how to engage with people we love when they are unlovable, and how to allow people to love us when we feel unlovable. As I said, there are exceptions to every rule. Abuse is never okay. Sometimes cutting off relationships for a period of time is the only way to heal.
So, what does all this mean for you as a client? Therapeutic work is sacred. It is allowing yourself to be fully known by another person and can be really, really scary- especially if you have been wounded. Questions to ask a therapist when you interview her (because you should always interview a therapist before seeing her):
· Are they trauma-informed, and what does that mean to them?
· Are they well versed in what are you seeking to process?
Not all therapists are the same, and we specialize in different areas. A good therapist should be able to succinctly answer those questions.
As always, information is power.
Be kind to yourself, you’re doing the best you can.
-Caroline
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